Magnolia
written by Paul Thomas Anderson

Frank TJ Mackey: Welcome back from the break! How'd you guys like those nachos? Yeah, oh yeah, well, you are not here for the fucking food. You are here for me to enlighten you, to edify you, to send you off into the now not-so-unknown future. So come along with me. "How to fake like you are nice and caring." (aside) No, I don't want a microphone. Now, this...this is quite an important chapter as you will see. But let's get down to brass tacks. Let's get right down to it, boys. Let's get right down to it. Men...are...shit. What? Men...are...shit. Well, isn't that what they say? Because we do bad things, don't we? We do horrible...heineous...heinous, terrible things. Things that no woman would ever do. No, women, they don't lie. No, women don't cheat. Women don't manipulate us. But you see what I'm getting at. Oh yeah, you see what I'm getting at. You see what society does? Oh, little boys, it's "wow, womaaan!" And we are taught to apologize. (kneeling) "I am sorry. I am so sorry, baby. I am so sorry." (sighs, a long pause) What is it that...what is it that we need? Is it their pussies? Their love? Yeah, Mommy wouldn't let me play soccer. And Daddy, oh, he hit me, so that's who I am. That's why I do what I do? Fucking bullshit. I will not apologize for who I am. I will not apologize for what I need. I will not apologize for what I want! Okay. Now go to your blue booklets right now. I want you to turn to page 18 in your blue booklets. (stops, sighs, he's made a mistake) This is fucking bullshit! (throws a table over, scattering the contents) I want you to go to your white, your white books. That's what I want you to go to. Go to 23 in your white books. "How to fake like you are a nice and caring person."