National Lampoon's Vacation
written by John Hughes
Ellen (Beverly D'Angelo): What do you think?
Clark: (slamming on brakes) I think you’re all fucked in the head. We’re ten hours from the fuckin’ fun park and you want to bail out! Well, I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much fuckin’ fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddam smiles! You’ll be whistling "Zippity Doo Da" out of your assholes! (laughs) I gotta be crazy! I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!
Russ (Anthony Michael Hall): (placing hand on Clark’s shoulder) Dad, you want an aspirin or something?
Clark: DON’T TOUCH!
Kudos and much thanks go to Jared for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.