The Court Jester
written by Melvin Frank & Norman Panama
King Roderick: But what did the Duke do?
Hawkins: What did the duke do?...and the Doge do? Well, the doge did what a doge does. When a doge does his duty to a duke, that is...when the doge did his duty and the duke didn't, that's when the duchess did the dirt to the Duke with the doge...they were in the dark. The Duke with his dagge, the Doge with his duck and the Duchess with her durk...the Duchess dove at the Duke just as the Duke dove at the Doge. The Duke ducked, the Doge dodged and the Duchess didn't. so the Duke got the Duchess, the Duchess got the Doge and the Doge got the Duke.
Kudos and much thanks go to "Face" for the donation of this monologue, it is very much appreciated.