Idle Hands
written by Terri Hughes & Ron Milbauer
Anton: Dearly beloved...we're gathered here today, because you're all dead...and it's my fault. Mom, Dad...what can I say? I mean...you brought me into this world. You put a roof over my head. You fed me until I killed you. So I guess if you look at it that way, I haven't been a good son, but I'm really, really, really sorry...and wherever you are...I just want you to forgive me because...I'm gonna try to change (his right hand goes a little crazy; Anton calms it down by forcing it to his chest) Mick, Pnub, guys. (laughs) You guys were the greatest. I mean, I'm never going to forget the way we sat around all day watching TV, and got really stoned. And all those other times where we just -- (starts then sighs) -- I guess that's all we did (sigh) Amen. (His undead friends come out of the ground and knock him over the head with the shovel)
Kudos and much thanks go to Beth for this monologue, it is very much appreciated.