Clerks
written by Kevin Smith
Dante: Ow - what did you do that for?
Veronica: If you didn't want to go out with me anymore, why didn't you just say so? Instead you pussy-foot around and see that slut behind my back!
Dante: What are you talking about?
Veronica: You've been talking to her on the phone for weeks!
Dante: It was only a few times!
Veronica: Then you pull that shit this morning, freaking out because I've gone down on a couple of guys!
Dante: Oh a couple?
Veronica: I'm not the one trying to patch things up with my ex, sneaking around behind your back, and if you think 37 dicks is a lot, then you just wait and see, Mister. I'm going to put the hookers in Times Square to shame with all the guys I go down on now.
Dante: Will you let me explain?
Veronica: Explain what? How you've been waiting till the time was right and then you were going to dump me for her?
Dante: It isn't like that!
Veronica: I won't let it be like that. You want your slut - fine: the slut is yours!
Dante: I don't want Caitlin!
Veronica: You don't know what you want! But I'm not going to sit here holding your hand any more till you figure it out. I've tried with you, Dante, I've encouraged you to get out of this fucking dump and go back to school - to take charge of your life and find direction. I even transferred, so maybe you'd be more inclined to go back to college if I was with you. Everyone said it was a stupid move, but I didn't care because I loved you and I wanted to see your pull yourself out of this senseless dump since that whore dumped you all so many years ago. And now you want to go back to her so she can fuck you over some more!
Dante: I don't want to go!
Veronica: Of course not! Not now you're trying to sneak out of what you wanted to do. Well, I won't let you. I want you to follow through in this just so you can see what a fucking idiot you are. And when she dumps you again and I promise you that, Dante: she will when she dumps you again, I want to laugh at you right in your face just so you realize that that's what you gave up our relationship for. I'm just glad that Randal had the balls to tell me since you couldn't.
Dante: Randal?
Veronica: And having him tell me that was just the weakest move ever. You're spineless!
(Veronica walks towards the door)
Dante: But Veronica, I love you.
Veronica: Fuck you!
Kudos and immense thanks go to Ringo for donating this monologue for
my page; much appreciation and my everlasting gratitude go to him.