The Authors Voice
from the play written by Richard Greenberg
Todd: I need you to tell me these sort of things, Gene. I can't figure them out on my own.(beat) My life isn't good. You think it is, but it's not. Once it was, but it's not anymore. (beat) I used to be made happy by...stupid things. Parties! People around me. I was vain. I was a peacock. I looked in the mirror. I looked so hard I didn't recognize myself. I didn't recognize anything. I forgot why I did things. I got scared, Gene! I got scared outside, I got scared in my room. I didn't know where I was half the time. I wanted to drown, I wanted to be covered over....Then I found you. (beat) Make me famous, Gene. I want to be famous. People will photograph me and write about me. I'll study how they see me and live inside it....Fame will be a kind of home. But I need you to get it for me. Only they can't know it's you, they can't know it's you; if they ever see you, it will die like that. (Snaps his fingers. (beat) It panics me when you leave and it panics me when you're here. You're the whole problem of my life, but without you I don't have any life. (beat) I'll give you what you want. I won't deny you anymore. Anything I can, I'll give you.
Kudos and much thanks go to JenDee for this monologue , it is very much appreciated.