Army of Darkness
written by Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi
Ash: (voiceover) My name is Ash and I am a slave. Close as I can figure it the year is 1300 AD and I'm being dragged to my death. It wasn't always like this... I had a real life, once. A job. I had a wonderful girlfriend, Linda. Together we drove to a small cabin in the mountains. It seems an archaeologist had come to this remote place to translate and study his latest find: Necronomicon ex Mortis, the Book of the Dead. Bound in human flesh and inked in blood, this ancient Sumarrian text contained bizarre burial rites, funerary incantations and demon resurrection passages. It was never meant for the world of the living. The book awoke something dark in the woods. It took Linda, and then it came, for me. It got into my hand and it went bad, so I lopped it off at the wrist. But that didn't stop it. It came back. Big time.
Kudos and much thanks go to PunisherSK for this monologue , it is very much appreciated.